


rome was conquered and burned.

by falconeggs



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Brief Mentions Of Rape, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-18
Updated: 2013-03-18
Packaged: 2017-12-05 19:29:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/727081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/falconeggs/pseuds/falconeggs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe Ian's world had crumbled to his feet, but Mickey's had long since been burned down and stomped out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	rome was conquered and burned.

Ian had refused to say anything about what happened to his face when it first happened. Fiona asked, but he literally stayed silent. He ignored her completely, and she didn't bother asking again. She knew she wouldn't get an answer. He could see the looks from everyone, but no one else asked. He didn't want them, too, either, for a while.

For almost an entire week, Ian just stayed in bed. He got up to eat and pee, but that was about it. He hardly spoke. He hardly moved. Everyone was concerned. Hell, even Fiona called school and told them he had the flu, just so that he could be excused for a few days. It was nice of her. Not that Ian had really taken any notice at that point.

But by the time he actually wanted to talk about what happened, his face had mostly healed and everyone else had forgotten. But he couldn't forget. It felt like Mickey had ripped his heart out when he kicked him in the jaw. And he was ready to talk. But no one else wanted to. Ian's world had crumbled at his feet, and no one had even noticed.

Fiona was busy with her job. There was no chance in hell that he was talking to Jimmy, because of the whole thing with his dad. Debs was helping Sheila with about a hundred thousand things. Carl didn't understand. Lip was busy with Karen and Mandy. And Mandy... Jesus, Ian couldn't even look at Mandy. That was the problem with being best friends with your lover's twin sister. 

That left Liam. Which wasn't optimal because the only talking that Liam could do was babbling and everyone's name. But, maybe Ian just needed to talk it out.

Ian lifted his baby brother from the crib and tucked him into his side. Liam put his two little hands on Ian's mostly-healed up face and smiled at him. And Ian felt a little better. "Do you mind if I talk at you for a while?" Ian asked. Liam just reached up and slid his fingers over Ian's short hair.

"I had this guy," Ian started. "And things were really good for a long time. And for a while, I thought he loved me. He was good to me." Ian smiled a little, thinking about all of the good things that happened. It made Liam smile, too, and that was good. "But then his dad found out. And he beat us up pretty bad. And then he brought this girl in and she--"

Ian honestly couldn't finish that statement because it was too hard to think about. He'd watched the boy that he loved fuck a prostitute because his dad forced him to. 

_Forced_.

Then it hit Ian like a ton of bricks. It may have sucked for Ian, but it was worse for Mickey. Because Mickey didn't fuck her. She raped him. She'd raped him, and Ian made this about him. 

It all seemed to fall on him at once. She was the one who was knocked up. Something that was horrifying and traumatic for Mickey was going to come up over and over and over again because he was now going to be tasked with raising her child that he'd made at gunpoint.

Ian swallowed hard and looked away from everything. It felt like his heart was in his throat and he wanted to throw up. Ian was a victim, sure, but he was the lesser victim. And he hadn't even gotten the chance to realize that. Mickey needed him, and he wasn't there. And suddenly, Ian realized how much of a tool he'd been.

Liam could see how upset his big brother had gotten, and wrapped his tiny arms around Ian's neck in a very small excuse for a hug. It didn't really make Ian feel any better, but he really appreciated the sentiment. He held his brother a little tighter as a silent 'thank you' for listening to him. Maybe Liam understood, or maybe he didn't. It didn't matter to Ian. 

Hours later, after Ian had put Liam down for a nap, the house was dead quiet. There was usually always some noise somewhere; the sound of people walking, or Carl's video games, or Debbie's humming. But not today. It was so quiet, he was sure he could hear it if Kev and Vee dropped a pen. It unnerved Ian, because he was just left alone with his thoughts.

He paced around the house, picking things up and straightening things out and doing whatever he could to take his mind off Mickey. He sat down on the couch with a beer in hand and started flipping through channels, not really watching anything. It was starting to take the edge off, which was good. It was distracting him, which was even better. He wanted to go find Mickey and hug him and say he was sorry, but he knew that was a horrible idea. Mickey would just push him away and tell him to fuck off. Maybe even hit him again.

As Ian sipped at his beer, he let the realization of the fact that he might not see Mickey again sink in. There wasn't much of a reason anymore, was there? He wondered if it was really worth being upset over. Before he got his answer, though, someone knocked at the back door.

Ian pulled himself off the couch and went to answer the door. He debated, for a moment pulling a sick face, in case it was Mandy or someone else from school dropping off assignments. After all, he was out with the flu. Eventually, he decided that it wasn't really worth it and pulled the door open.

His back may have been turned to Ian, but the latter definitely felt a pang of hurt in his chest at Mickey's form. "Hey," he croaked out. He cleared his throat and stood a little straighter.

Mickey turned back to look at Ian, and, for just a moment, the redhead was sure he saw a look of remorse flash on Mickey's face. "Jesus Christ," He muttered, staring at the fading bruises and healing cuts on Ian's face.

Ian looked down and swallowed. "You should have seen it a few days ago," Ian said, humorlessly. He stepped aside and Mickey walked through the door and into the living room. 

"I really fuckin' needed you, Gallagher," Mickey said after a long moment. His back was to Ian again, like he wouldn't be able to keep his nerve if he looked at him. "You weren't just..." He trailed off, only for a moment. "You were my best fuckin' friend. And I needed you."

That only made Ian feel worse. He could hear the truth in Mickey's words, and he could hear the way his voice was breaking with how physically hard it was to admit that. "I know," he said, his voice only a little louder than a whisper. "I didn't figure that out until it was too late." 

Maybe Ian's world had crumbled to his feet, but Mickey's had long since been burned down and stomped out.

Mickey turned and looked at Ian. His eyes were rimmed red, but just barely. The small hint of pain on his face was only readable because Ian had spent countless hours studying his face, like there would be a test on it. Ian hated that look. He swallowed hard and shifted slightly.

"I'm not marrying her to pretend that I don't care about you," Mickey said, quietly. It was a secret between them. Liam was asleep, and could hardly understand the English language. It didn't matter. Walls were thin, and people were nosy. "I'm marrying her because I know what it's like to live without a father. If I don't, I'll never get to see my kid. I can't do that shit."

Ian knew first hand that Mickey was capable of love. He'd seen it. He'd heard it through other words. He'd felt it. But the love he knew Mickey had for him was built up over time. It took a lot of work and effort for Ian to weasel his way into Mickey's heart. But this baby was hardly a thought, barely in existence, and Mickey already loved it. His whole life, Ian had been surrounded by love. But he was sure that, even when he was the size of a pea inside Monica, no one loved him the way Mickey loved that baby.

Ian swallowed and nodded, understandingly. He gave Mickey a small smile. "I guess me and your kid have something in common," Ian said, trying to lighten the situation. "We both have a gay dad."

Mickey let out a surprised snort at that and shook his head. "I thought I heard something about that," he said with a half grin. He paused, letting his tongue run over the corner of his mouth before continuing. "Frank's a fucking idiot."

Ian nodded in agreement with a slight roll of his eyes. There was a slight pause between them, as they realized they had no idea where they stood anymore. Not that Ian ever really knew where they stood anyway.

"I shoulda said it," Mickey said, finally. "When you asked me. I shoulda told you." He swallowed hard and looked down. There was a long pause, as Mickey carefully picked out his words, like they were the clothes you'd wear to the biggest job interview of your life. "You scare the shit outa me, Gallagher. There ain't a lot that scares me. But you..." He looked back up at Ian and just looked for a moment, shaking his head just barely. "You scare me. Because I'm not used to things with you."

Ian decided that was a good thing. "You've never had someone love you back before?" Ian clarified.

Mickey just shook his head more and took a small step closer to Ian. "I've never loved someone before," he stated. His voice was quiet.

It was different, hearing it. Ian knew Mickey loved him; he'd seen it in the little glances, and felt it in the gentle hands, and known it in the contrast to everyone else. But hearing it was a whole different game. It made it all real.

Ian gave Mickey a small smile. He closed the distance between them and kissed him gently, letting his fingers curl into Mickey's shirt. Mickey kissed him back, just as gently. They were both sure nothing in the whole world had ever been quite so soft before. Slowly, though, the two pulled apart and sort of just smiled at each other like they were just two kids in love. Like they didn't have to think about weddings and babies and bashings.

Ian tugged on the hoodie Mickey was wearing. "Is this mine?" He asked, crumpling his eyebrows.

Mickey froze when he realized that, yes, he was wearing Ian Gallagher's hoodie. He swallowed, fighting off a vibrant blush. "I missed you," he tried to justify.

Ian just grinned at Mickey for a moment. "You say that again, and I'll rip your tongue out of your head," he teased gently.

Mickey just shoved him slightly with a wide grin on his face. "Fuck off," he said before pulling Ian back in for another kiss.


End file.
